The Kantian Cant.

THE KANTIAN CANT,

OR the Humerous horticulture of thought division. Kant thought about thought and thought that thought could be caught, like a fish, and that there were only two nets to throw them to, to the prior net and the posterior net. Some fish he said were manmade, some he said were natural; some lived only half a day, some were eternal, some were neither alive nor dead, some were not fish at all but crustaceans, and some were lumps of sea jetsam (thought flotsam). Kant was sometimes right but always wrong. I say he was sometimes right as there are many thoughts or notions which have been formed that can be considered Kantian in class, but he was always wrong because even these thoughts are only so because they are thought to be so. Kant's thoughts are thoughts about thoughts, not thoughts. Real thoughts are everywhere unique to the individual, but then they think about thinking, or rather they think about what others think they should think about, and start pruning their thoughts. Then comes big fat Hume or really boring Kant and they tell us what they think they think about their thoughts, and suddenly the whole world is instructed! No, the whole world is commanded not instructed, because it seems pleasing to the self-satisfied (whose primary pleasure is to point out others' mistakes (though often it is their mistake, a mistaken thought of a thought and a mistaken notion of mistake; as I ever cite, forward to the north-facing is backward to the south-facing). And what pray is my objection to all this drafting? That the world is not draft paper.